What does it mean to accept what is currently happening on your life?
When it comes to psychological terms, to accept is similar to permitting life events, or a particular person’s behaviour in the present moment. It isn’t connected to past or future events, just what is happening in the here and now. Are you ok with your current feelings and can you allow what is happening to just be what it is?

When we don’t accept, we resist. Digging our heels in, we make our minds up to refuse things as they are and try everything within our control to change it. We become conflict-minded and see our present as an arena where we will be unhappy unless things are different. This can create a lot of resentment and deep-seated sadness - it’s easy to go down the spiral where nothing in our lives is right, no-one can do the right thing, and the small seed of discontent can flourish into hyper-critical behavior. 

Acceptance is a very powerful tool in your emotional and psychological toolbox. When we accept, it leads to less mental health stressors and lowers our risk of negative physical outcomes linked to stress and anxiety. 

You may have made a subconscious choice that life always contains a conflict or two, and that you need to fight for everything. Of course, circumstances may have proved that to be true in certain areas for some people. However, have feelings of hostility taken root? Do you have a mindset where the grass is always greener elsewhere and that your forward-fighting (for yourself or for others) happens in every single area?

It’s exhausting, isn’t it?  Accepting what is could be something you need to consider. 

Have a look at the areas of your life that seem to be more problematic than others. 

Is it a person or a situation that you are always wanting to change? 

Is there an area or person that always brings you into conflict? 

Does that issue or person always make you feel on the back foot and react defensively? 

Are you left feeling resentful? Burned-out? Avoidant of the situation or certain people?

What/who brings a complaint out of your lips first, before any positive thoughts?

It might help to make a list about this situation, or this particular person. Put down what you are ok with, and what you’re not ok with. Can you really change anything? Is there anything you are able to accept? If you cannot find any redeeming features or acceptable things, why are you stuck there and not moving on?

What acceptance is not

• it can be hard to embrace acceptance, because we feel it is giving up. Accepting your current situation is not the same as resignation. It isn’t throwing your hands up and becoming a doormat. Rather, acceptance is seeing a situation or person with fresh eyes, and acknowledging whether and how much power you DO have to change things. It is not denial, but clarity.

• Accepting things doesn’t mean you sit back and ignore what is happening, showing weakness. Acceptance requires an awful lot of focus and bravery. To reiterate - it’s not about believing you can do nothing, but crystallizing what your real options truly are.

• Acceptance is not allowing abuse. Like any good thing, acceptance can be manipulated and abused in the wrong hands. If it becomes a reason to stay in an abusive environment, then it is not true acceptance, it is self-sabotage. There is never any excuse to abuse or be abused in any form - verbal, emotional, mental, physical, financial, sexual etc. If you are in an abusive situation, you don’t need to accept it - seek support.