“Patience is a virtue”.  

It’s a tenet that many of us are familiar with, and perhaps we’ve requested it from others or been told to be it. It is definitely an important quality to have - a patient person is able to face challenges and step back enough to see the path ahead. When issues show up, they are usually accompanied by feelings of frustration at the situation.  If the frustration provokes impatience, we can lash out and respond in negative ways, instead of balanced and peaceful ways.

Why is patience worthwhile?

As a general rule, patient people also tend to be positive emotionally, and exhibit the ability to deal with stressful situations in a much better war. They tend to be more aware of the physical and mental effects of stressors and have better mechanisms to cope with everyday niggles and worries. If we are patient while enduring those things that can come up in daily life, we tend to be more satisfied with life overall. 

How do we become more patient?

If you are a naturally patient person, that’s great. You are already working at an advantage. For the rest of us who aren’t so Zen about things, don’t worry. Patience can be learned. 

Here are some points to consider:

• Be mindful. Mindfulness practice creates a mindset that is more self-controlled and aware of choices. Notice your feelings, whether they be anger, anxiety, frustration, panic, loss of control. Breathe deeply. Choose a patient response rather than a fear-filled one.

• Be grateful. Delayed gratification is a real thing, and if we express and feel gratitude for what we already have, rather than impatiently strive for something else, our bodies and minds will benefit. We are also more likely to regain a healthy focus and a calmer mind which enables us to plan our path to achieve our goals, rather than the chaos of wanting to be or have something else at any cost, right now.

• If you don’t like the situation, reframe it. Any reaction and feeling is a response plus choice. If we are led by emotions and believe that ‘we can’t help it’, then we have an unhealthy view on how feelings and conscious thoughts work. When something happens, like plans gone awry because someone is late, it can be easy to step into frustration and feelings disrespected by the other person - ‘stewing in our own juices’, so to speak. Or, you can chose to use the extra waiting time to do something beneficial. In doing so, you are consciously reframing the situation, choosing self-control and bringing patience to the fore. Like any exercise, patience must be practiced.

Fear and anxiety can cause us to withdraw from challenges and the waiting (or striving) for change.  Jealousy can also make us impatient to have what others have (even if we don’t fully understand that if they are human, they also face their own set of challenges).  We have to accept that frustration and hard things are a part of life - they may not be the same as the next person, but a type of adversity that is uniquely faced by every one of us. Trying out patience in our everyday will make that day more palatable, and each peaceful step might just get us to where we want to go while enjoying the journey.