Do you know what you stand for? 

What is important to you?

What values do you hold so deeply that they inform your response and actions?

When you are aware of your own set of personal values, it gives you a grounding for decision making, and an inner confidence to make those choices. You have a sense of trusting your senses, your ‘gut’, and can go forwards more securely, because you know that no matter what happens, you are at least being truthful to yourself.  As your self-respect blossoms, so does your self-esteem.

Instead of sucking your energy and confidence, acting according to your values should bring a sense of accomplishment. 

Instead of living the life you ‘think’ you should have by imitating others, maybe it would be better to dive deep and identify what motivates you and gives you energy. It’s easy to get caught in a trap of frustration and feeling that we under-achieve because we aren’t like someone else. 

Some of our core values persist for our whole lives.  However, they aren’t always permanent. Major life events, traumas, changes and challenges can make us revisit what matters to us. Our previously held values can start to shift and crumble, and we may find ourselves in a bit of a wilderness, where we have to rebuild those values.  Will they be the same, or has our experience strengthened or changed them?

Finding out your core values isn’t a technique, exercise or trick. It is a life-long and deep process. In walking through certain experiences, we also have to be aware that fear can affect our values. If these things take hold, our worldview and self-esteem will be based on negativity. By holding onto this fear, we can limit ourselves and others, and push our life goals further away. 

However, if we use change as a springboard to focus on what really matters and cutting off the energy-suckers that don’t do us any good, then our sense of purpose will also grow.