Many of us can struggle with setting boundaries that are appropriate and healthy, especially when it comes to dealing with other people. 

We can tend to commit to plans and decisions while an inner voice is telling us that we can’t or don’t want to REALLY do it. This leads to us feeling resentful, overcommitted and burned out. 

It mightn’t seem like a huge deal all the time, and sometimes we will inconvenience ourselves to the benefit of others - this is an empathetic and magnanimous life choice.

However, if we constantly cannot say no, the seed of discomfort and bitterness will grow, and we will possibly find ourselves exploding at those around us, and lashing out in a bad temper, usually at inappropriate moments or in disproportionate ways - the proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back. 

You could also start feeling that your life is not yours - that you exist only to benefit others and never yourself, and ultimately you feel a bit used. If we believe we are tossed and turned on the whims of others, we lose sight of our own needs and desires. One loud voice in our head is the one that tells us that people will dislike us if we say no. It can be a very loud demand!

To overcome it, we need to learn that it is anxiety that feeds us that line. If people are unhappy with us drawing healthy boundaries, then it is on them, not us. For our own mind’ s sake, we need to give ourselves space whether it is acceptable or not. 

Ultimately, the people around us will respect us more for being true to ourselves….and if they don’t then maybe the relationship isn’t a particularly functional one at the moment, and it may need some help.