A child's list of fears tends to grow as they learn more about the world.  In addition to being afraid of the dark, someone stealing from them, terrorism, death, separation from their parents, and the supernatural, a child has fears that are real, while others are imaginary.  This coincides with the thinking in some childhood research circles that at some point, a child realises that they are not central to the world, but a part of it, and that this world isn’t always a nice place. This causes deep feelings of being unsettled in many children. 

The following factors may contribute to the fear of some children:

A child is more likely to suffer from generalised anxiety as a result of overprotective parenting. 

An injury, separation from parents, hospitalization, illness, loss of a friend, death of a pet etc. - these are all stressful events.

Genetic predisposition - some children are especially empathetic and sensitive to their environment. 

One or both anxious parents - children notice their parents’ behavior and mirror it. 

How can we help children with their anxious thoughts?

Let your child have some control. For example, if they fear monsters under the bed, equip them with a torch and make checking with them part of the bedtime routine. 

If your child has any questions about tough topics such as dying, terror or disease, you should be willing to answer them - don’t shy away from dealing with the issues when your child raises them, and do so in an age-appropriate way (both in language and content). Try to keep your own feelings, fears and prejudices out of it, and deal in neutral facts. Be honest, and if you don’t know, say so. You can always come back to the topic when you feel more equipped. Don’t overload with information, be led by their questioning, and don’t assume that they are scared about the same things that you are. 

Encourage your child to approach the source of his or her fear one step at a time, so that they decide how close to get. This gives them control of the situation and will empower them, as they make the decisions. Also, help them find solutions instead of leaving the anxiety ‘hanging’ - this is also an act of empowerment. Help them have a plan in place. It can be tempting (especially if you’re an anxious parent) to want to remove the source of anxiety. Sometimes, this might be necessary, but there is also a risk in enforcing to the child that anxiety always wins, and it has the power to stop them achieving goals. 

An established routine and ritual give a child a sense of security and provide them with a sense of stability.

Assure your child that you will listen to their fears and will always take them seriously. Don’t be dismissive, even if it doesn’t seem such a big deal to you. As a parent, you are their safe place, and be open to all sorts of discussions. Let them help you understand how they feel. 

You may want to explain to your child the physical effects of anxiety and how it can affect their bodies by comparing it to a wave in the sea - it builds up and flows onto the shore, but then it ebbs away again.

It is understandable for children and young people to feel worried and anxious at times, just as we do as adults. However, if anxiety is becoming a problem for your child, they might need some further help in developing coping strategies. There is no shame in reaching out.