Wellness Lab & Clinics

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SELFCARE WEDNESDAY: Just Say No

Do you know an old song called “Television, the Drug of the Nation”?  I sometimes replace the word “television” with “procrastination” when singing it in my head. Putting things off until tomorrow ( or even perendination!) - I’m very good at it. 

Sometimes our “I’ll deal with that in a while” becomes “that’ll never happen now”.  We all do it, to different degrees - And sometimes to different consequences. 

“I’ll call you.”

“I’ll pray for you.”

“I’ll drop that off later.”


Your to-do list spawns a “to-do to-do list”.  

You start and don’t finish a project, hobby or task. 

You promise to do something for someone else and it never eventuates. 

Once or twice, it might not mean much. However, a repeated pattern of making commitments you can’t keep has have a big impact on our lives. It makes people feel you can’t be relied on and your word can’t be trusted. This creates a lot of stress.

Beyond that, it sends a message to yourself that you can’t meet goals. That you are untrustworthy, a bad friend, a bad caregiver. That you are undeserving of love and respect. Honouring your commitments can have a lot of power, both in the lives of others and with your own self-esteem

If you overcommit, the wheels start to come off your integrity and image of self. 

The easiest way to not overcommit? Say no. A small word, but a strong one. 

It doesn’t line up with your priorities and morals? Say no

It requires you to repeatedly put yourself, your loved ones aside? Say no

If we keep saying yes when our mind, body, soul and spirit say no - we will restrict our abilities. And if we keep on with this behavior, we will stop listening to ourselves. Saying yes to lots of little commitments turns big commitments into Mount Everest. You won’t do them all. You cannot keep all those balls in the air and something will have to give. 

If you know deep down you won’t be able to complete or do a thing well, don’t commit to it. 

Make it easier for yourself to succeed by honoring the commitments you’ve made to yourself.  When you’ve respected those, honor those made to others. 

This all takes practice, and yes....commitment to measuring your commitments!  When you have developed a habit of managing what and how much you say you will do, it changes you - in the eyes of others and within yourself. 

Spend some days taking care of the commitments made to yourself. Make a manageable to-do list.  Say no to the things you can’t give 100% to. 

Respect yourself as you would like others to respect you; as a healthy person able to give their best, and as someone who is becoming a better version of themselves.