Between 2017-2020, the last year stands out as the period containing the most relationships breakups. It’s clear that lockdowns and enforced time together has revealed some issues between couples, and perhaps some relationships were long overdue to come to a close - but what about the ones that ended due to unrealistic perspectives on what love and partnership means?

Today's disposable culture teaches us some damaging things about relationships, mainly that the pursuit of perfection can hurt your love life.

No one is or will ever be perfect, and real love has little to do with perfection. You'll self-sabotage your relationships by thinking you're not good enough for your partner. If you have unrealistic expectations, you’ll never find a ‘perfect’ partner. They don’t exist. Perfection is, in essence, isolating.
For a healthy, happy, and satisfying life we need love for ourselves and for others in all our glorious technicolor imperfections. As we learn to embrace our own, be kind with how we view others. We all stuff up individually and collectively. You are you, and people are people - we all have our own unique qualities. We need to examine ourselves and fully identify our good points while being aware of our failings; when we give ourselves grace and are committed to growth, we should also extend that to people we want to be in relationship with.

In today’s culture we have a tendency to throw things away - and this can extend to relationships - even if we don’t actually end them, we can mentally and emotionally check out. Your phone is not the newest model? Sell it and get a new one. Those pants are ripped? Buy new ones. Those carrots are looking a bit tired? Into the trash. Your relationship isn’t as exciting as you’d like? There’s an app for that. Why fight to fix things with your partner when you can look for a new one? With material objects, if you keep throwing away and replacing your things, at some point there won't be anything left to buy. If we carry that disposable mentality into our love lives, it’s only a matter of time before we get sick and tired of running away from our relationships.

There are always struggles in relationships. We get frustrated and are tempted to push each other away, but working towards a common goal to get through a challenge can also bring you both together.

It’s definitely been an eye opener for me to realize how many terms and acronyms exist in current relationships parlance (I speak as someone who didn’t advance far beyond S.W.A.L.K.!) - ghosting, benching, catch and release, haunting. Long story short, they are all mind games, not healthy dating techniques, and they are not beneficial for your emotional and mental health. If someone you are interested in (or you do this yourself) carries out these ploys, they aren’t being charming, an enigma or intriguing - they are being wilfully manipulative.

Don’t play games. Treat people well - the old adage of treating others in the way you want to be treated still stands true. Being straightforward is so refreshing. Our lives are complicated and busy enough, so why not try simplifying your approach to relationships? Be kind, be honest, communicate.

Not all relationships are destined for success - if it’s not working, talk about it - don’t just disappear. If it can be fixed, fix it. Don’t treat other humans as a commodity, and be a safe person who shuns toxicity.