COMMUNICATION FRIDAY: We’re Not Gonna Take It

Anger is incredibly powerful. If it isn’t managed appropriately it can have long term impact on our wellbeing and that of the people around us. If the expression of anger is given free and uncontrolled range, it can result in arguments, fights, abuse of different kinds, assault and desire to harm oneself.

Anger causes our adrenal glands to flood the body with cortisol and adrenaline, which causes fear, anxiety, heightened emotions and a ‘fight or flight’ response. Our minds become acutely focused on the immediate source of our anger (even if it isn’t the root cause) - our temperature rises, we get an increased heart rate and our muscles tighten and our skin becomes clammy, ready for a strong reaction.

Some of the short and long-term health problems that have been linked to unmanaged anger include headaches/migraines, digestive issues, heart and adrenal issues, mental health/emotional/sleep problems, skin reactions and strokes. 

That said, anger in itself isn’t problematic -  it it needs to be expressed healthily and safely, for example:

If you feel yourself spinning out of control, step back until you de-escalate.

Understand that you will feel angry about some things - this it totally normal. 

Don’t just get upset about problems, discuss possible solutions. 

Burn off some heat from your anger by doing a physical task. 

Talk to someone who can help if you find your anger is problematic. 

Some people express their anger in ways that are damaging and unhealthy.  Explosive anger is when a person has no control over the rage they feel and it bursts out unpredictably. This type of anger can also spill into physical abuse and violence. The angry person becomes isolated from others.

Other explosive people actually think very little of themselves and can use rage to control and manipulate others. If you are one of these people, or are close to someone who behaves in this way - it’s a red flag and you need to seek help. 

Conversely, some people consider all forms of anger and expression of displeasure as wrong. They feel that anger should be ignored and repressed as it is somehow a ‘bad’ emotion. This can manifest itself in anxiety and depression, or can spill out as anger against ‘defenceless’ people and things - children, animals and passive adults often feel the brunt of this. Again, if you deal with anger in this way (or have been the recipient of it), it would be beneficial to seek help. 

Anger and arguments aren’t bad things - well-managed anger can be a useful emotion that motivates you to make positive changes. It is possible to agree to disagree. You may also need someone else to help you resolve the disagreement. 

If you argue well, you may actually end up feeling more positive. Releasing the pent-up anxiety that surrounds disagreement is like a safety-valve being turned off before it has opportunity to blow.

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