My husband and I met in a small town outside of Tampa, Florida in 1998. We were in our first year of college together with full academic schedules, exceedingly high expectations for ourselves, and a new-found love that neither of us had imagined possible. We would walk for HOURS together and endured much of our classmates’ jeering about the matchmaking that just-so-happened to have been initiated by one of our professors bringing me to the front of the class to sing Happy Birthday to this handsome man and his twin brother.

So, when Valentine’s Day 1999 arrived, where we were poor in money, we were (probably annoyingly so) rich in love. Do you know what we gave each other as gifts that year? I gave him a paper treasure chest with important dates from our relationship written on paper gems, and he made me a candle-lit candy break on a picnic table we would pass on our walks each night. Neither gift cost more than $5 each, but there was no doubt about what messages were being exchanged.

When we only focus on the material gifts to give our partner on holidays such as Valentine’s Day, we short change our ability to communicate far more than what that material gift can buy.

When honoring your Valentine this year, consider additional ideas to communicate your affections that go beyond material gifts.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

Membership to a museum or exhibit
A couple's massage or spa day
Planning a #datenight that includes arranging childcare
Schedule intimacy on the calendar
Go to a paint & sip
Stargaze together
Plan an overnight, and ask the hotel if they have staycation packages
Schedule a day to clean out closets or the garage together
Wash the cars together
Plan a night of "foreplay only" and start in the morning
Fly kites together
Go to the thrift store and pick an item or outfit for the other that you HAVE to wear to dinner that night.
Walk hand in hand.
Get a pack of sticky notes each, and write notes for each other to find over the next 12mos until NEXT Valentine's Day
Initiate a "how can I help?" mantra, and then do it.
Initiate a "how can I understand you better?" request each day.
Write down your story - from first impressions to hopes for the future.