Do you feel safe? Of course, there are things you can do to be physically safe, but how about your inner self? Do you trust yourself? Are you led by emotions, or can you accept them and move on?

We all need to lean on other people at times, that is what community is for. However, as an individual, you will feel safer if you are self-reliant. When you know you have many resources and abilities built-in and established, whatever the circumstances, you can have confidence to deal with them.

If you are not sure if you are particularly self-reliant, here are some ways you can build up these resources.

Be your own best friend. Take responsibility for your own success and support yourself 100%. We all know times where we cannot take a compliment or try to lessen our role or efforts when praised. Instead of saying “oh this old thing?” or “oh it was nothing!”, try “thank you, I feel great in this color” or “yes I worked hard on this and I’m happy with the results”. As the old phrase infers, “making yourself small does not benefit the universe”.

Self-reliant people realise that they will never be perfect, but they take responsibility and acknowledgment for what they can achieve.

Having a quiet confidence means an individual does not need to tell lots of people about their positive qualities, and they do not need to prove their worth to anyone. In their self-reliance, these people are kind, they remain calm and focused. They know themselves and what motivates themselves well, and are at ease with it. We can possibly bring to mind someone we know who is captivating and compelling due to their quiet composure.

In order to become self-reliant, it’s important to look inwards for strength and acceptance. Those who don't possess self-reliance constantly seek out ways to be accepted and secure from experiences or other people. As a result, they don't learn how to cultivate self-reliance, and are driven by approval-seeking behavior.

Even though we DO all need other people's advice occasionally, self-reliant people are usually able to work through problems independently or with a little assistance, as opposed to not being able to take a single step without decisions being made for them.
Don't rely on others too much and take responsibility for your own life instead. When you rely on others too much, you deny yourself the opportunity to learn how to face life alone, and it also denies you the chance to learn how to have the confidence that comes with making decisions and standing by them.

Personal responsibility is also key when it comes to self-reliance. We all need to work with others to complete tasks, but try to avoid the belief that you cannot do anything by yourself - this mindset can be very self-limiting.

If you spend all your time making yourself feel inferior to others by examining all the ways you fail, dwelling on what is wrong about yourself, it will sap your energy and turn you into a helpless, powerless person. Doing this makes no sense, and is something that totally halts you from moving forward in life. This may be a long engrained habit, and it often takes years to undo years of conditioning, so give yourself some grace as you work through seeing your good points instead

If you want approval - approve of yourself. You don't need permission to accept and like who you are. Ironically, your credibility and standing with others will grow as you become more dynamic, effective, and self-loving. When you become healthy and self-reliant, this will be reflected in your body language and attitude, and others will respond far better to you.