PARENTING THURSDAY: Strong Enough

Increasing your child’s confidence is an essential way to encourage them towards a successful adulthood. Filling them full of positive energy and equipping them with the tools to be strong during the many challenges life will inevitably throw at them is a huge stepping stone. 

A healthy self-esteem will ensure your child sees themselves as they are, and to like what they see. Not in some flawless and perfectionist way, but as someone aware of what needs room for improvement, what they are good at, where they need to work a little harder; and with all this taken into consideration, to still value and love themselves for being the uniquely loved person that they are.
Liking who you are makes you flourish. Also, like attracts like, and they will hopefully also be surrounded with others with a healthy self-image or inspire others to feel the same. 

How can parents support a child in having a life filled with greater self esteem?

Your own behavior as a parent has a direct affect on your child’s actions. To inspire confidence, you need to work on your own. For some people this will be easier than others, but as parents you have the ideal arena to exemplify how you want your children to respond to challenges by doing so yourself. Put your own negative self-talk and feelings of criticism to one side, and tackle the everyday with positivity and self-love. Children are mirrors, and if they see how you deal with things in a healthy way, they are likely to do the same.

Do you plaster on a fake smile and pretend to breeze through the hardest of times? No, this is not a good lesson - in fact it will teach children that emotions and questions aren’t valid. We all have bad days - show your child to be real, acknowledging feelings and being truthful to themselves and the people around them. If your actions are informed by your own feelings of anxiety, anger, pride and shame, then they will generally learn to respond in the same way

By not denying the challenge or not trying to deal with it negatively, you will inspire strength and confidence in how to go through issues, not around them.

How we talk to our children also has a massive impact, and will, in turn, inform how they talk to others. Positive reinforcement shows that you are actually interested in your child and what they say - that they have a valid voice and a right to express themselves and share ideas. This forms another stepping stone towards giving them confidence to initiate conversation and to stand up for what they believe in. Confidence isn’t something that can be ‘lectured’ into a child, the “Stand up straight! Speak up! Stop fidgeting!” school of thought is ineffective, doubly so if the child has also been raised in a “be seen and not heard” style. 

Let them talk.  Don’t just teach - listen. Communication goes both ways and if we pay attention we see that even the youngest baby has something to say or express. Invite children into chats, show them how to talk and listen.
Communication really is an art.

Taking time and supporting children in their social and communicative development is an ongoing process. It’s so much more than just learning words, but a whole life learning skill that will teach them how to  know themselves, know what they want to say, and to be at peace with the challenges that life will no doubt bring.